Status Update

Oct 13
Been a bit busy. Company called [redacted] called on Sunday saying they found my resume and they think I'd be suitable for a position there. I had interviews on Monday and Tuesday, and both went well, but it was tiring nonetheless. In the meantime, I had some minor issues with my current job (at Brenntag) - HR partner sent me information that is weird / seemingly wrong, and controlling complained. Over the weekend I sent out emails explaining HR's process and pushed (rightful) responsibility to the partner. When my supervisor came back from leave I was told I handled it well. And yeah, I did the monthly closing by myself and all.

Safe to say I am, ah, getting exhausted.

Oct 18
On Friday I got the offer from [redacted]. The pay is not low, let's just say. So, I'm taking that job - it starts on Jan 10th next year, so I've got ample time to clear up my current work and submit my resignation.

Dad tells me to thank the Lord for my good fortune. I'm taking a moment to do that now.

I should note that this week I also received a (verbal) offer to extend contract for my current company. Obviously, I'm not accepting that as [redacted] is offering higher, plus it's a permanent (whereas my current position can only extend until the end of 2022 / early 2023 when the project finishes, then it'd be quite illogical for them to extend it as they don’t have any other work for me).

Anyway, after this exhausting week, I had a quiet weekend sleeping and playing a new title, The Riftbreaker. It's decent - a few problems with the game are quite detracting from my fun, actually. But I'm willing to overlook a few problems if it's a small indie developer and an innovative enough game, both criteria of which The Riftbreaker satisfies.

The Monthly Post - Oct 2021

I'm a little frustrated with myself. Honestly, it's the same deal again and again that's been plaguing me for years.

All my life, I've been instructed to find meaning out of this life through career and family. I've been questioning this on several lines:

 

[1] My career in many ways feels like I'm just padding the back pockets of corporate leaders, rather than an actual contribution to society. It's mildly less bad with my swap to HR from accounting, but still…

 

[2] Needless to say family is important. But if all we spend our lives looking for a spouse, amassing resources to give to our children, then our children spend their lives amassing resources to give to their kids, we produce a selfish society where generosity ends at the family line. In this sense, we are no better than animals.

 

At least when I was a teenager and a younger tween in college, I thought about taking on a "side gig" - singing, art, some sort of hobby that would make a more direct contribution to others' quality of life. But:

 

[3] When I look at artists who have day jobs, they often spend their whole lives between their jobs, so it is difficult for them to find spouses and begin settling down. I've now mostly accepted that if I am to take on a side gig, family is not happening, so this is not really a concern anymore. But it's still worth noting - not least because many of the amateur artists and entertainers I know are often exhausted or struggling under their double workloads, while the professionals also struggle with money in a saturated industry.

 

[4] There are perhaps millions of artists and entertainers in the world, and with the rise of online entertainment platforms like Spotify, the spread of the arts has become so overly saturated that its value is diminished. Why listen to me ever when you can listen to hundreds of thousands of the best artists anytime on the go?

 

[5] I picked video games because I feel the video game industry is the one place where amateurs and indies have an advantage over professionals. This is because professionals must craft their games in a certain way in order to retain profits. As someone not limited by this, I have greater freedom to tackle niche markets. However, because I am an amateur, my budget is extremely low, and thus I might not have the budget to even advertise. It is very likely I might just be looking at a few players in my game solely due to a lack of publicity. Neither is there a guarantee I'll be successful, and the game I make might just suck.

 

As of this weekend, I was thinking maybe I should look outside art/entertainment instead. It won't do much about [3] but it will help with [4] and [5]. But what exactly should I tackle? Given my expertise, I'm not sure what I can do that will make this world a better place.